Anonymous asked: was it your exgirlfriend? her friend?

she doesnt have friends gtfo 

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

HE EVEN LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR AND WE WERE ALL LOVEY AND (hardcore) MADE OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. AGH.

I’m telling kip

DO IT. I already told him he better bring some hot friends to my open house.

…

I’ll make sure to invite all the chicks I know who are fat and sweaty ;) The graduate right here is gonna be getting all the attention. Fuck yehh.

That is super selfish… just invite a super hot girl who you will hate ill fuck her and never talk to her again it will work out for both of us 

I’m allowed to be awesomely selfish. Honestly though, everyone’s probably just gonna get really drunk or high and you’re gonna fuck a fat chick. I feel it.

I don’t fuck fat chicks sorry 

I know, so I’ve heard… You will that night! Hahaha. But this really isn’t about to be some babe-filled party, unless I count myself. Free food and alcohol. Pretty decent deal.

I am not your uncle I have standards 

Gah… That’s weird. I tell people he’s my cousin to avoid further explanation.

It has been decided I am telling everyone he is your uncle 

(via lynn1e)

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

HE EVEN LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR AND WE WERE ALL LOVEY AND (hardcore) MADE OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. AGH.

I’m telling kip

DO IT. I already told him he better bring some hot friends to my open house.

…

I’ll make sure to invite all the chicks I know who are fat and sweaty ;) The graduate right here is gonna be getting all the attention. Fuck yehh.

That is super selfish… just invite a super hot girl who you will hate ill fuck her and never talk to her again it will work out for both of us 

I’m allowed to be awesomely selfish. Honestly though, everyone’s probably just gonna get really drunk or high and you’re gonna fuck a fat chick. I feel it.

I don’t fuck fat chicks sorry 

I know, so I’ve heard… You will that night! Hahaha. But this really isn’t about to be some babe-filled party, unless I count myself. Free food and alcohol. Pretty decent deal.

I am not your uncle I have standards 

Dear the person who tried to hack my email, 

          You are pathetic I know who you are and it makes me laugh so much inside. 

Love, Brandon 

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

HE EVEN LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR AND WE WERE ALL LOVEY AND (hardcore) MADE OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. AGH.

I’m telling kip

DO IT. I already told him he better bring some hot friends to my open house.

…

I’ll make sure to invite all the chicks I know who are fat and sweaty ;) The graduate right here is gonna be getting all the attention. Fuck yehh.

That is super selfish… just invite a super hot girl who you will hate ill fuck her and never talk to her again it will work out for both of us 

I’m allowed to be awesomely selfish. Honestly though, everyone’s probably just gonna get really drunk or high and you’re gonna fuck a fat chick. I feel it.

I don’t fuck fat chicks sorry 

Ok if they don’t beat the Heat I will be a very very upset man….I will have to bust out my way to tight for me celtics shirt now 

(via lynn1e)

lifeofspeezy:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

HE EVEN LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR AND WE WERE ALL LOVEY AND (hardcore) MADE OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. AGH.

I’m telling kip

DO IT. I already told him he better bring some hot friends to my open house.

…

I’ll make sure to invite all the chicks I know who are fat and sweaty ;) The graduate right here is gonna be getting all the attention. Fuck yehh.

That is super selfish… just invite a super hot girl who you will hate ill fuck her and never talk to her again it will work out for both of us 

heavens2betsy:

Landon Donovan Hat Trick v Scotland

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

HE EVEN LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR AND WE WERE ALL LOVEY AND (hardcore) MADE OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. AGH.

I’m telling kip

DO IT. I already told him he better bring some hot friends to my open house.

well i’ll be there so thats one 

Oh God… If you’re going, at least bring a bottle and don’t be a complete douche bag. And don’t run around telling my friends “you know, I’ve never actually had a successful blow job before”.

Its the best pickup line in the world and of course I will bring a bottle of jack but your friends better be hot and slutty 

lifeofspeezy:

soccerandlulz:

lifeofspeezy:

HE EVEN LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR AND WE WERE ALL LOVEY AND (hardcore) MADE OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. AGH.

I’m telling kip

DO IT. I already told him he better bring some hot friends to my open house.

well i’ll be there so thats one 

(via flyawayonajett)

alyricalsecret:

Break-Up Lines

I love demitri, so hilarious